''Found on the /x/ board of 4chan at 4:20 on 9/11/69''
Alright /b/ros you will not believe what happened to me today. To prove I'm not some autistic troll or newcuck I'm gonna prove I'm a cool dude by using greentext to prove I'm an oldcuck not a newcuck or autistic troll.
>Be me
>Browsing le interwebs
>Grow hungry for the sweet sweet taste of mountain dew
>Shit, no mountains nearby
>Deicde to make my own using the tears of my dissapointed parents
>Borrow 20 dollars from my mom
>Dad tells at me on the way out calling me a lazy fatass
>Whatever I bet he can't even use sad memes to convey how shitty his life is online
>Open the door
>Get on the floor
>Sun immediately burns me
>Fuck, should've worn fedora for protection
>Use anime girl pillow to block Sun as I roll to the local Wal-Mart
>Cant see the clown that hides from gay people, wonder where he went
>Go to aisle 7, has soda in it
>My sweet sweet mountain dew, how I long for you to be inside me
>Remember the weird shit that I've already put inside me, would probably sour the dew
>Walk down the aisle
>Keep walking
>Keep walking
>No end in sight
>Isthismemehell.jpg
>Mandatory joke directed towards ethnicities
>Lost in Wal-Mart
>Feeling claustrophobic, aisles can barely fit my extreme girth
>Ladies love girth knowwhatimsayin
>Store completely empty, just like the rest of my life
>Light flickering
>"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb"
>Lights go out
>Pitch dark, only one thing can light it up
>I've been drinking nothing but mountain dew for 12 years
>Think of every anime girl and Neil Degrasse Tyson quote I've ever seen
>Ejaculate with the force of a nerd jerking off to anime and Neil Degrasse Tyson
>Catch semen in mouth, force of habit
>Shit it back out
>Now condensed into a glowstick
>Stick it back up my ass
>I'm a firefly lol
>Wander this Wal-Mart, devoid of all memes
>Suddenly, signs saying "Looking for cashier, apply inside" start appearing in front of me
>Reeeeeeeeee
>Scared out of my mind
>Thought of Richard Dawkins only thing keeping me sane
>Bibles on every shelf
>Condoms I will never use on every other
>Help wanted signs everywhere
>Lost my fedora in this mess
This could be my last message to you /b/ros. I'll miss you.
''Reply to original post''
OP is a cuck lol